Married at last!

…And for over a month… (Edit: It has now been over two months. It took me a month to write this blog post. It then took me another month to finish this post and add pictures…) I’ve mentioned previously about how my fiance and I weren’t going for the traditionally large and stressful wedding, but were going for simple and small (back in August, actually. Wow…), well, let me tell you that the way to do a low stress wedding is to plan it in less than 2 weeks. 12 days is more than enough if you have easy wedding dress needs or worked ahead and already have that, like I did. It happened like this…

My fiance still hadn’t found a job in my area, but we had finally found an apartment, and were going to sign on it at the end of October. We were figuring out when to move and had finally decided that gave us a month to plan a wedding, as we didn’t want to wait longer than thanksgiving. My fiance was then going to move in to the apartment the same day we signed for it, as his lease for his old apartment would be up after that weekend, while I move in after we got married. One Sunday a mere 12 days before that sign and move-in date, my parents were on their way to a family reunion when my mom jokingly asked why we didn’t just get married when his parents were already going to be in the area. I laughed, and had to tell my fiance that (via text, as normal). He mentioned it to his parents then, as he was having lunch with them. Turns out it was his great-grandparents wedding date. And his parents were okay with that idea. And when he texted back that he was actually okay with this (joking!) plan, I realized it was the only date that wasn’t making me feel stressed out and nervous. (All the dates we’d been looking at for a month in advance had been making me want to elope.) So, we decided to get married then. We still didn’t have a minister, but his best-man was a pastor, so could do it if our other options (a family friend I’d asked about the other dates or an uncle) didn’t work out. It turned out that when I told my mom, she freaked out in my stead. But my fiance and I were feeling good about this. After finally hearing back from the uncle that night with a no, and hearing back from the other guy with a no as well the next day, we went to plan C and his best-man was now our officiant. We still had no location, but my brother started brainstorming and mentioned that some of the large area churches were likely to have chapels we could use, as the first place I contacted that Sunday hadn’t gotten back with me yet. I called two churches before I had one – and the first church hadn’t answered. This church had a super helpful and friendly secretary and pastor – who even took pictures of their chapel and texted them to me, even though I also set up a viewing of it on Wednesday. A couple friends were still willing to help me out with flowers and make-up, and I decided to do my own hair so ordered hair products to help with that – as I was going to have to do it in the morning even though the wedding would have to be in the evening. And I would be helping my fiance move in the afternoon after signing the papers at 3:30. After taking care of a few other small details, we had most of a wedding planned. By Wednesday. (We finalized with the church Wednesday afternoon after also getting our marriage license and taking care of utilities that had to be ready for Friday.) I had a final dress fitting and we went shopping for ties for the men (I was the only female amongst two male attendants, my groom, and our officiant, and my then-fiance wanted to gift ties to them all – and I wanted them to coordinate with the flowers), as well as picking out a few songs to play for the ceremony and my then-fiance meeting with his friend and officiant to put together the ceremony outline, but that was all done by Saturday. And we still had a week before the wedding.

Honestly though, we both still stressed. We just didn’t stress about the wedding. We did, however, stress a lot about timing with everything, as the wedding was a mere three hours or so after signing papers for the apartment and moving my then-fiance into it, and people’s tempers throughout all of it. We were also trying to get his parents to be okay with him moving basically everything that first day, but not setting everything up, as he had a long-awaited table-top RPG to get to the next day (he was willing to miss it for me, but I’d been hearing about how hard it was to schedule it finally so told him to go to it). Another friend of mine had her son and his cousin come to help us move though, and despite my now-father-in-law getting lost with the u-haul full of stuff, we managed to get everything moved in and the bed and table set up before I had to leave for make-up. And no one had gotten super upset! (That I knew of then. Apparently my man-of-honour had ticked off my now-mother-in-law with a joking comment, but I’m trying to ignore that still.)

Aside from the stress of moving the same day (and not even separated by half a day), the wedding itself was simple, still lovely, funny at times (music got messed up because I wasn’t worrying about it and let other people give the instructions for how to run it; and the officiant almost skipped the part with the rings; at which time my brother, who was standing in as the best-man since the former best-man was now the officiant and couldn’t do both at once, couldn’t find my slender wedding band in his pocket), touching, and extremely low-stress in putting it together. I wholeheartedly recommend planning small weddings in two weeks or less.

 

Oh, and did I mention that my now-husband and I were still working and having our normal lives during all this? His last day at work was literally the morning of our move-in and wedding date (he worked third shift). Again, I wholeheartedly can and do recommend two weeks or less for wedding planing.

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